Wednesday, July 23, 2008

movin' on up

If you haven't seen me around much lately, it's because I've been moving in different circles. Rather swell circles, if you must know - filled with people for whom single malt whiskies, original art, and indoor plumbing are not luxuries, they're givens.

I think, when you do see me next, you'll notice a distinct improvement. I've acquired a bit of polish. I no longer wipe my nose on my sleeve - better still, I no longer wipe my nose on anybody else's sleeve, a trick that may have seemed oh so amusant during all those dear nights on the docks, but which I've been brought to see is perhaps not quite the thing.

When I do have to wipe my nose, I've learned (assuming there's no 2,000kc note handy), to ask myself, "What would Brooke Astor do?" and then wipe it discretely - in the drapes.

My conversation is much better too. I'd always heard that great minds talked about people and small minds talked about ideas, but it turns out I'd heard that from a moron and it's TOTALLY the other way around. So I've dropped all references to the Menendez Brothers and the Fatty Arbuckle scandal from my repertoire, and instead I talk about life after death, and are movies art? and what is the capital of Sweden? Ideas.

I've also learned to take more care about my dress. Where once I would have dashed off for an evening's entertainment without so much as running a fork through my hair, I now take a moment to straighten my hat, button my gloves, and remove the cat hair from my jodhpurs. And it pays let me tell you. People really seem to notice when you make that extra effort, "Nice jodhpurs," they'll say, or "I didn't even know you HAD a horse." It's enough to turn a girl's head.

So, I can't promise I'll be seeing much of you in future, because me and my new high society friends (pictured below) will probably be spending a lot of time discussing ideas, and wearing jodhpurs,and avoiding the docks, and bedazzling our matching gowns, but I promise to keep you posted. Consider this blog a window on my new life and feel free to press your dirty little noses against it!

[Note: all the pictures in this post turned up in a google image search for "high society."]


sylvain said...

That bottom pic looks like a group of 'evangelistic singers' that appeared last week at an Assembly of God church down the road from me...and when I say appeared, you know exactly what I mean.

maire said...

i know exactly what you mean.

Shay said...

As you spit polish and shine up that pretty penny that is you Maire, take this example from my own superlative social skills from what could have been a horrifically embarrassing situation.

I was once invited to the premier event of the Rocky Mountain Imperial Court, which was a Drag Queen Rodeo Bridal Shower for the Grand Empress of said Court. All male attendees were required to wear lovely white vales, as well as to drink from the champagne fountain without using your hands. Well you can see the conundrum! How was I to vomit without getting anything on the vale? I simply stepped lithely behind Tabitha the Bouncer and pulled it back. Wallah!

maire said...

shay, you will never cease to be an inspiration!

and you DO get around...