Monday, February 1, 2010

me and [insert clever blogging idea here]

I'm trying to think of a "Julie and Julia" gimmick that could win me more readers but it's harder than that Julie chick made it look. She started with a cookbook so I figure I should choose another sort of reference material. Here are some possibilities I've been mulling over:

Atlas: I could try visiting every country in the atlas (Pros: I'd get to see the world; I'd finally figure out where Togo is. Cons: expensive, time-consuming, would require me to visit Poland, unless I based it on my actual atlas, from which I've excised all references to Poland).

The Guinness Book of World Records: I could try to beat all the records. (Pros: would involve a lot of eating. Cons: too many opposing goals -- you'd have to be the fattest AND the skinniest, the tallest AND the shortest, the fastest AND the slowest; could also potentially require me to visit Poland).

Medical Dictionary: I could try contracting every disease in a standard medical dictionary. (Pros: could potentially be done from the comfort of my own home. Cons: wouldn't make for particularly light-hearted reading; could actually kill me).

Phone Book: I could try calling everyone in a given phone book. (Pros: could definitely be done from home; requires no particular skill. Cons: they might start calling back).

FBI's 10 Most Wanted: I could try to capture the FBI's 10 most wanted fugitives. Failing that, I could at least hang out with them. (Pros: would make more interesting reading than an account of making boeuf bourguignon. Cons: I would have to learn Spanish, as five of them are Hispanic; none of them is particularly cute - see for yourself, this is the FBI's actual 10 most wanted list. If they spent as much time looking for fugitives as they did experimenting with fonts, they'd probably whittle it down in no time.)


Shay said...

Maybe you should to combine them? For example, try contracting the WORST case of scurvy in history, and then call every single country in the world to tell them about it. In order make your way onto the FBI list, when you call the US make sure to say:

"Hello, Spokane? Assalamu alaikum! I have the WORST case of scurvy in the history of the prophet and boy does it make me angry!"

Unfortunately, this will require that you at least call Poland.

maire said...

now THAT'S an idea. plus, i might make the guinness book of world records for most consecutive phone calls.

tokyo sexwale said...

I think you should stick with the ____ and ____ theme, which in your case would be Mary and Marie. So, do something involving any of the following: Marie Curie, Marie Antoinette, Marie Claire or Marie Osmond.

A la Marie Curie, you could strive to live in Poland and France and win the Nobel Prize for something awesome involving new and dangerous elements.

A la Marie Antoinette, you could strive to eat a lot of cake and get your head cut off by a rabble of French speakers (Quebecois?).

A la Marie Claire, you could strive to publish a magazine that no one I’ve ever heard of has ever read.

A la Marie Osmond, you could strive to go Mormon and then spend decades being famous for singing family-friendly claptrap on TV specials.

If you need any assistance fleshing out these ideas, you know where to find me.

maire said...

oh, that's quite brilliant! or me and maria von trapp! where i teach motherless children to sing and make clothing out of the drapes.